Confidence: it’s not just skin deep

"I don't do fashion, I AM fashion."

― Coco Chanel

Today, we're taking inspiration from Coco Chanel herself.

When I saw the quote above, it resonated so much because to be confident is not just skin deep. It's not just about doing confidence; it's about being (wholey, truly, wholeheartedly) confident. 

It's about getting under the skin, it's about getting to the real nitty-gritty, the heart and core of who you are.

What drives you. What you value. Which of your needs are met. It's about acknowledging where you are now and being transparent about where you want to be in the future. 

It's about identifying what might be holding you back from getting there and, if you've already tried, what has stopped you from making progress before. 

Understanding your habitual reaction when something goes well and understanding your natural response when things don't go to plan - and deciding how you can make deep-rooted, long-lasting transformation through your actions, habits, and belief systems. 

I'm sure we've all felt it when we feel on top of the world, really confident, something has gone our way, and then something throws us.

We retreat to safety, back to where we know - our fight or flight mode kicks in, and our brain wants to keep us out of danger, so we pull it back. 

The way our brain works is interesting here…

Suppose you think of a ski slope and the way that snow becomes compacted down on popular routes. They become 'well trodden'. However, on new slopes where the courses may not be as popular, the snow is fresher.

It's less well-trodden and might be trickier to navigate at first as a result. But the more that people get to know them, the more compacted the snow and the better versed they become. 

Neural pathways in the brain work the same way - we have the ones that relate to habits, actions + reactions that we have been following for years, so they become our go-to ones.

We have the opportunity to create new ones, like the untrodden snow, but it takes repetition to make them as strong as the old ones… and this takes work. 

So it's not about doing something once; it's about making sustainable, consistent action to work towards confidence in whatever way that shows up for you. It's about thinking about what the person (future you) that has 'x's would be, what they would do and what they would have. Making sure it aligns with your values and understanding why you're driven to achieve that thing.

This is the power of coaching - to support you in recognising where you are now, where you want to be and fill in the dots in-between. 

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